


Abandonware

by xBaebsae



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Drug Use, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, More Tags tba eventually, Non-Linear Narrative, One Shot Collection, Rare Pairings, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:07:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29539368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xBaebsae/pseuds/xBaebsae
Summary: Dumped into the Desert without memories, prototype Militech gear replacing her right arm and the roman numeral VI tattooed onto the other, the Nomad Vi was born. After spending many years riding with her saviors, the Bakkers clan, the young woman decides to leave home for potential adventure and glory in the city of dreams - Night City.Too soon she learns that one man's dream is another one's nightmare as her life takes unwanted twists at the cost of her friends and her own self.
Relationships: William Hare/Female V
Kudos: 10





	Abandonware

**Author's Note:**

> Vi is my female player character OC. Her story is mostly compliant with canon, with only smaller details changed to either add or flesh out characters and relationships a bit more. 
> 
> Her partner is William Hare, a minor character met in the Gig "Back Against the Wall". Most things related to him are based on my headcanons, which are an extension to his limited canon information.
> 
> You can find art and additional content on my [tumblr](https://xbaebsae.tumblr.com/tagged/just-vi).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After helping her new found friend Panam Palmer take revenge on Nash, Vi and her partner William Hare decide to stay with the Nomads at Sunset Motel during the days leading to Hellman's arrival in NC airspace. 
> 
> Vi struggles with Johnny's constant presence in her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly extended timeframe between game events.

It felt surreal, the all too familiar Badlands, the crappy rooms of Sunset Motel, people laughing loudly at the bar with no sign of violence in sight, no hookers, no corpos. When Vi watched the sunset through a window she could actually see nature, the sky. The buzzing city with all it’s flashy billboards faded in the distance. It didn’t matter out here, glory and fame meant shit to the Nomads, but damn did it matter to Johnny Silverhand.   
She’d tried to ignore him to no avail. He was too intertwined into her personality at this point to simply ‘think him away’. Day after day he pressured her to go back, get back to business, how else would she save her life? That infinite hope to actually find a cure for her condition was something she surely envied him for. Maybe it was all show to make it easier for her to fade away someday. Vik had said she only had a couple of weeks left, so shouldn’t it be her decision how she'd spend them? 

Not according to Johnny. Ever since entering the bar he’d been furiously arguing with her, insulting her intellect and spouting dismissive profanities when she didn’t react to any of his tirades. Nevertheless, his voice would constantly overshadow the real, physical people in front of her.

“Hey!”, Panam snipped her fingers in front of her face. “Don’t tell me you didn’t even listen to a word I just said.” “Sorry, Pan. I kinda dozed off. Was a long day.” She downed what was left of her beer and slipped off the bar stool. Her friend playfully crossed her arms as she turned around aswell. “Hmm, your loss then. You just missed the story of your lifetime!” She’d only known Panam for a couple of days but felt like they had been friends all their life long. “You can repeat it to me once we are on our way to Hellman”, Vi teased but only met a frown in return. “If something was up you’d tell me right? Leaving after just one beer, that’s not like you!” “Really, don’t worry. I’m just beat, is all.” Her eyes wandered over the other faces in the room in search for someone else. When she found him sitting at one of the table booths, caught in a seemingly heated debate with a few of Panam’s friends, Will looked up to her with a smile. It was impossible for her not to join in. They may have met under weird circumstances, but what they had now made up for a lot of bad shit that’d shattered her life during the past month. She felt deeply for him and she knew he did the same. Every night she rolled up next to him, rested her head on his chest, she felt like he was her unusual anchor in all of this. Weird, especially since his mind was as slippery as hers occasionally.

Vik had worked some magic on him to reduce the effect his cyber implants had on his psyche. It wasn’t a perfect solution but according to Will himself he felt better now that his visor was gone among some other internal cybernetics Militech had pumped into him. His left eye was beyond saving but he refused even purely aesthetic implants and Vi actually found there was a strange beauty to the red to blueish white gradient it was made of now.

She waved at him before finally heading out and back to their room. The door hadn’t fully fallen shut when Johnny already appeared in front of her, gathered enough control over her nervous system to make her feel his push back against the wall and began to walk up and down the worn down motel room. “Answer me one question, Vi. Do you even want to survive?” “Course I do, would just appreciate if you could fuck off when I’m trying to talk to my friends!” The attitude she would never get used to. Bossing her around in her own head. It was taxing as is to know he saw and felt everything. Johnny was the reason she didn’t let Will in closer. It didn’t feel right, didn’t feel private. Hell, nothing felt private anymore. There was always her unwanted guest, visible or invisible, he wouldn’t go away, she could feel him even in the moments he didn’t turn into a vision in front of her. 

“Your friends? That happened fast, you always trust everyone who offers you a free beer so easily?” “My friends, my business. You don’t have to like ‘em.” “Sure as shit don’t!” His steps sped up and he tossed the imaginary cigarette in his hand away. “Well, newsflash for you, Vi. We ain’t here to make friends. You say you wanna survive?!” He appeared right in front of her, his fingers dug into her shoulders before he tossed her to the ground. “Then fucking start acting like it!” Perplexed she rubbed the back of her head in pain. “All I’m hearing is your whining, stop being sorry for yourself and start fighting back. So far fucking seems like I’m the only one here who’s actively lookin’ for a solution!” “Fuck you, Johnny! What do you think I’m doing here?!” “What, you call crackin’ a few cold ones with some of these wild animals a _plan_?” “They are my friends! Can I just have one fucking break? Is that too much to ask? Hellman’s not gonna cross country anytime soon!” “So what? Move your sorry ass back to NC and go after other leads. Hell, even the ‘Saka scum’s a better option than slacking off in this shithole.” Anger rose in her own voice until she shouted just like he did. “Takemura hasn't even called me back yet, he said he needs time and-" "Time's the thing we don't have! Put pressure on him or hell, bring me back to Rogue, let me talk to her." Now she couldn't help herself but to let out a disgusted scoff. "Give you control over my body? Dream on, asshole!" 

Warning popups appeared in her Kiroshi overlay, the furniture in front of her started shaking, dissolving into pixels, then piecing back together. He tried to oppress her in her own mind, the horrible way he did when they’d first 'met'. Her head hurt, she had to get up, to the nightstand, the pills…  
"If you don't cooperate, I'll do it myself. This fight's bigger than you." "You...fucking...wish", she mumbled to herself, he wouldn't care anyway. "I'll just take you back to the city, talk to Rogue 'n that's it. Won't spook your psycho boyfriend nor the gonk chick." "You won't take me anywhere!" Silence, she wanted silence in her mind. Thoughts that were only her own, a break from the constant battle of trying to stay true to herself. She wanted him to shut up. 

It took all her strength to keep him from preventing her to reach the pills. The blockers would silence him at least for a little bit. Even if it was only for a few minutes, she’d take it. Any moment where she could be alone in her mind. “Sleep well, Johnny”, she pressed through gritted teeth right before throwing in a pill. Silence. Minutes passed without him. She took a deep breath, recollecting her thoughts which drifted further and further into the wrong, the long suppressed and blissfully ignored direction.   
She would die.  
All the ruckus around her ever since she returned had made it easy to forget but she would die. Soon.  
And it was because of him. Willingly or not, he killed her.

Filled with spite she swallowed another pill, and yet another few followed until she realized she was crying. “Just go to hell!”, she screamed out loud and downed hand full. Her dizzy mind fooled her that it made sense to keep eating the meds. If one pill made him disappear for an hour, more would keep him away for days. Deep inside she knew it was bullshit, but she was too tired to care. What did it matter anyway? In a few weeks time she’d be dead. And what would she leave behind? A trail of dead friends and miserable people. Mama Welles’ empty eyes still haunted her, that was what she’d do to Vik and Misty...they’d already lost one friend. It’s what she’d do to Will...

When the box of pills was finally empty she felt like she was floating. Just a bunch of data in a datastream. Reality felt like cyberspace, she couldn’t get a grip on it anymore. Her tears formed little bulbs on the box and washed out Vik’s old school handwriting reminding her not to take more than one pill at a time. But what did he know? What did anybody know? What would Hellman know? 

The last image she could remember was that of her metal hand crushing the plastic into a thousand tiny pieces.

* * *

Panam kicked the vending machine one more time to no effect. “Shit, shit shit! Come on I paid for this!” Will had watched the whole ordeal from a safe distance. Vending machines became more unreliable the further you moved outside the city and this particular one looked even more run down than the ones he’d seen in wrecked war ruins. After another couple of tries she finally returned to him, leaned against the wall and gazed into the distance. "Take it the vending machine won?", he teased and earned a devastating glare from her side. "Just don't even!" Other than her little fight, the night was quiet out here, left room for a lot of thinking and reflection. Vi would love it, and the mere thought of tickling a tiny smile out of her warmed his heart. But their room was already dark and he didn’t want to risk waking her up. She’d looked so tired lately, eyes empty, like those of his former buddies at Militech. That seemingly indifferent face expression, the mask everyone who had been through too much put on. 

“Will, you and Vi...you’re close right?”, Panam broke his train of thought and he had problems finding the right answer. They were more than friends but Vi neglected any kind of romantic term. She’d told him about the engram in her head, he’d witnessed her mumbling out loud when she was talking to Johnny. Her embarrassment the first time she cuddled up next to him and the endless apologies that nothing could ever be just between him and her. Nevermind how much he reassured her, she couldn’t commit to anything between them. Now that he thought about it, ‘close’ was a relatively good word to describe their relationship on its own. “Yeah you could say that, why?” “I mean, I don’t know her all that well yet but she seemed strange today. Whole evening she’s just been spacing out and then she left after just one beer super early.” Panam really was alright. He’d been wary at first because she is as reckless as it gets with a strong temper, but her heart was in the right place. “She has a lot on her mind lately”, he replied and added a ‘literally’ in his head. Vi didn’t talk about Johnny to a lot of people and he wouldn’t be the one to tell Pan, so he left it at that. “What’s going on in her life? She’s really keen on kidnapping that corpo dude, doesn’t sound like it’s strictly business.” “There’s a couple of personal reasons but I think you should ask her directly tomorrow. What I know for sure is though that she’s really thankful for your help and well, for the nice company too.” “Awww!”, her smile lit up. “Tell her I love her too!” “Tell ‘er yourself.” “Nah, come on that’s awkward!” Their smalltalk lasted for a while before they both fell silent. Eventually he wished her a good night and made his way back to the motel room.

No noise came out of it, which was odd, considering Vi couldn’t sleep properly without the radio or TV providing background noise. The moment he turned on the light felt like time came to a stop.   
Vi stared apathetically at the wall. She didn’t blink nor did she register him. Her eyes, watery and bloodshot, were so devoid of life that his heart felt heavy. “Vi?”, his voice jittery, he tried to make contact but she didn’t react. The shattered plastic in her hand only confirmed his worst fear and he knew he had to do something. “Panam!”, he shouted for help, when she only replied with a muffled “What?” he repeated it. On his knee, he carefully brushed the plastic aside so that she wouldn’t step into it. Her hands started shaking when she finally recognized him. Her eyes met his but they looked right through him. She cried without sobbing, opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Will held her hands in his own and cursed himself once again for allowing both of them to be turned into metal.

Panam finally stormed into the room and even without looking, he could tell she was just as shocked as he had been a second ago. “What happened? Oh my god what did she do?” “OD on some brain pills, Pan we have to get her to the bathroom.” The woman was overwhelmed by the situation, she helplessly stepped around mumbling in agreement, unsure about how to help. “Vi what the hell did you do?”, she asked into the room expecting no answer, but she got one. “Shut up”, whispered Vi, voice so hoarse it was barely audible. “I wanted...him to shut up.” “Him?! Does she mean you? What did you-” “Not me it’s… it’s complicated.” Will let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. Panam looked confused but she ended up helping him carrying Vi into the bathroom and making her get rid of what was left of the pills in her stomach. She watched over her when they’d tucked her into the bed and Will phoned with Vik, her ripperdoc. There wasn’t much they could do but wait for her to wake up. Panam wouldn’t move from her side and offered that he could sleep for a bit. Only reluctantly he agreed, he’d had a few drinks too many with Mitch and wanted to be clearer in the mind when his girl woke up.

* * *

Consciousness returned to her slowly, it sneaked up on her from somewhere that felt like far below. The black void in her mind, the pure peace, started to be filled with sensations. First she only heard the gentle but jittery hum of someone nearby. It couldn’t be Johnny, he was somewhere far away. His presence wasn’t in her range anymore and for the first time in a long while she felt truly herself. Vi hadn’t even blinked twice when Panam already frantically shouted her name. “Oh my god you’re alive! What the hell were you thinking?!” Words formed her reply in her head but she had a hard time saying them out loud. “Panam? What are you doing here?” She tried to sit up carefully, mind still dizzy and her visuals flickering. Will sat down next to her without a word and she leaned against his shoulder, silently relieved to have him there. “I don’t know, recovering from the shock you gave me? You scared the shit outta me, thought you were a goner!” “I’m...fine.” “If you were fine you wouldn’t try to kill yourself!” Always upfront, Panam didn’t hold back. A trait Vi grew to like about her. “Pan, I didn’t try to kill myself I just...it’s just… not that easy.” Her words calmed her friend down a little and she grabbed her non-cybernetic hand. “Who is ‘he’?” “He?” “The one you wanted to shut up...it’s not Will is it?” Fuck, how would she talk herself out of this? But at a second thought there was eventually no need to. She liked Panam, Will seemed to trust her too, so maybe telling her about Johnny wasn’t the worst idea. Besides, if she didn’t tell her, she wouldn’t stop making up own conclusions. And lying? That was out of the question.

“Do you know Johnny Silverhand?”, she started clumsily, brain too tired to form a smooth introduction to what she was about to explain. Panam frowned and her expression became wary. “Yeah, but what does that matter? The guy’s been dead for decades.” “He’s in...my head.” “Like you can’t stop thinking about him? I’m sure you’re not alone, there’s a whole lotta moms out there who’re still fans of his band.” “No I mean...literally.” “Vi I think you should get some more sleep…” “Hear her out, Panam”, Will interrupted and she looked even more confused. “You’re serious.” “The friend that I lost, told you about him, Jackie. We were on a job at Arasaka, night Saburo was murdered and-” “Holy shit that was you?! Vi I wouldn’t-” “It wasn’t me! Jackie neither! Listen, I can’t give you detes about Saburo but please believe me one thing. That it wasn’t us, we didn’t murder him.” She didn’t fully believe her yet but it had to do, she couldn’t tell her the whole truth, it was too dangerous. 

Vi took a deep breath and collected her thoughts before she continued: “We were there to steal from Yorinobu, a prototype of a biochip. We had no clue what was on it, only had instructions to grab the case and get it to our client. Prep was preem work, flawless, it almost went smooth. We had the case, only had to get our asses outta there when all hell broke loose.” “The Saburo thing…” “Yeah, security was on high alert and they spotted us on our way out. We had to jump, fell a few stories, Jackie was wounded, the chip’s case broken. Long story short someone had to jack it in, and at first he did but when he-”, the weeks that had passed didn’t matter, speaking about Jackie’s death hurt as bad as it did back then. “When he died he passed it to me.” “Okay but, what’s a biochip got to do with Silverhand?” “Arasaka’s Secure your Soul program, the chip was a prototype, all the way back during the tower bombing they stored Silverhand’s engram onto it. God knows why! I didn’t feel any different when I jacked it into my head but after my ex-fixer shot me into the head-” “Into the head?!How? How are you still here?!” Will gestured Pan to turn it down a little and she nodded, nervously biting her lower lip. “The chip was created to be installed into a new host body eventually. An empty body. When I almost died, it started fixing the damage but...encoded it to Johnny. He’s been leaking into my mind you could say, overwriting, well, me.” “Technology like this, it can’t be legal!”, Panam got up and walked around the room aimlessly. “I mean overwriting someone else’s mind?” “It’s not supposed to happen, the circumstances just all played out in this worst case scenario. Johnny doesn’t want to delete me.” “And you believe him? From what I know that guy was a terrorist and now he’s trying to steal your body!” “I do, it’s not like he can hide anything from me, we share the same mind.” “God I don’t even know what to say. Is he there all the time? You see him?” “Talk to him even, it’s like a twin who never leaves your side. Never.” 

Long silence filled the room, broken minutes later by Panam, who had a hard time processing everything. “I’m sorry Vi. If I knew I would have kept you company earlier, punched Johnny in his virtual face!” Vi had to laugh wholeheartedly at the image in her head. How she’d love to see that even though it was impossible. “Everything’s alright, really!” “You tried to kill yourself!” “No, no I didn’t. I just… I don’t know what I was doing.” She only received a scoff in response and the silence returned. Panam was deep in thoughts, probably still processing everything she’d just heard and this time Will was the one who’d say something. “Right, I think we’ve all had enough trouble for one day. Vi should rest some more.” His voice was polite but firm enough to suggest their friend to leave for now. She didn’t seem too fond of the idea but nodded in the end. “You better get ready for some questions tomorrow, because I’ll have a lot of them!” She’d almost left when she turned around and added: “And if something’s up, you call me alright? Remember, I owe you!” The door fell shut and Vi let out a big, relieved sigh.

“That went better than I expected it would”, she picked up a conversation again but Will had no interest in worrying about Panam anymore. “Vi, tell me what happened.” She’d tried to avoid thinking about it all but sooner or later she would have to anyway. In hindsight her actions were even dumber than she’d thought at the moment. Suddenly the room felt crampy, too small, she felt like she would suffocate. “I need some fresh air, Will. Need to.. get out.” He understood, like he often did. Once again she subconsciously thanked Regina for that stupid gig that’d crossed their paths. She slipped into her jacket and together they walked out into the desert. Just straight ahead, on no particular path, because paths meant nothing out here anyway.

Sad green eyes lit up with a tiny shimmer of hope as she watched the stars in the dark night sky. It was a rare sight, even out here, to see them this clearly. The smog coming from NC usually let no light through. What would he give for her to be happy, but he knew from experience that smiles didn’t come easy with a heavy mind. Not the sincere ones at least. She walked a bit in front of him, nobody said a word, they just wandered like two lost souls bound together by an invisible rope. 

“I didn’t try to kill myself”, she stopped and kept her voice low. “Johnny he… he kept saying the truth that I didn’t want to hear.” Johnny deserved her dislike for a range of things, but he was never dishonest with her. He was right, she wasn’t stubborn enough to deny that. “Do you remember what you said the first evening in your apartment?” Will's voice was calm, collected. He stepped closer to her and looked at the same set of stars above them. “Not sure what you mean.” “You asked ‘What’s on your mind?’, would like to return that question now.” She closed her eyes for a moment, put the words in order inside her foggy mind. “I’m going to die. Can’t stop thinking about it. Johnny, he said he’s the only one really trying to find a solution and well… he’s not wrong. I needed him to shut up because I know he’s right but... “ Her gaze returned to the sky, a tear shimmered in the moonlight, like a shooting star reflecting on her cheek. “...this. It’s all so perfect. Riding with Panam, taking out that Nash guy, I had fun. It feels like home." For a while she'd thought she missed her clan but what she really missed was the freedom. She tried to stop her tears, didn't want him to worry even more. He was still on edge, she’d noticed how he watched over every step she took, ready to catch her should she collapse. "Spending the days out here, seeing you smile-”, her voice broke into a sob, her hands wiped her eyes. Tears kept flowing, tears that she'd swallowed down because they’d mean all of this was real. They’d only confirm her fate. As if that mattered.

“I love you, Will”, she whispered the heavy burden finally off her shoulders. She’d loved him for a long time, he probably guessed it already but she needed to get it out. “And that’s why all of this is so much more painful.” “Why?” His voice was unchanged, it calmed her down a little even though his dismissal of her confession left her nervous. “For now everything is great. You are fine, we’re happy… But in a few weeks we won’t be. I’ll become Johnny if nothing helps and you… you are forced to watch.” “Vi, don’t-” “I need to get it off my chest now, I can’t take it anymore!" She took a few deep breaths. "You’ll watch me die, I...I dragged you out of your shit just to throw you into mine. Making it all worse!” “You saved my life”, he suppressed a hint of anger, she felt it. “Just to ruin it even more! Maybe that was selfish!”, she sobbed and her heart felt heavy. Will pressed his lips together with so much pressure, she was sure he'd shout at her any second. A fight was the least she wanted but maybe it’d be easier if he started to hate her. Maybe he wouldn’t be bothered when she faded away…

“Is he here right now?”, he asked after long moments of silence. Confused, she blurted out a “What?” in response. “Johnny, is he here right now? Just answer me.” He really did look mad now. “No, I don’t know where he is, I don’t feel him arou-” She didn’t get to finish her sentence, couldn’t even move anymore. He’d closed the distance between them so quickly her eyes couldn’t follow and her mind needed to catch up on what was happening. Desperately he pressed her against his body, one hand firm on her metallic shoulder, the other gently pulling her hips closer. His lips pressed onto hers, passionate and greedy to tell her so many things at once, she knew one kiss wouldn’t be enough for it all. Her arms were frozen next to her body, she was unsure of what she should do with them, until he let her catch her breath. “Sorry”, a mere pant from him against her still parted lips. Will had always given her all the space she needed. He was understanding of her situation, never pushed her. But this very moment he couldn’t hold back. She was his girl, the friend who quickly became so much more, the woman with the cutest smile, despite that hint of sadness in her eyes at all times. It was there even now and it bothered him. He wanted her to forget everything bad, even if it was just for a lousy minute. 

Her voice trembled by the time she finally found it again. “No, don’t be.” Her human hand reached for his face, fingers tracing the skin around his face implant. Touching him wasn’t a new sensation, but she never focused on his face too much in fear it would send him mixed messages. For a moment he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her properly. “I always wondered...” She moved her fingertips over the enforced polycarbonate that covered half his face. “Do you feel this?” He sure wished he did, just as he wished they’d have told him about that little fact before replacing his skin. “Implant’s main purpose is to make headbutts painless and prevent being shot in the forehead”, he stated and the muffled pressure of her touch stopped. “I wish I did.” Her hand dug into his hair and guided him back to her lips. Those he felt for sure, along with her sweet taste when their tongues met. The kiss was greedier than his, her hand kept pulling him in because she didn’t want it to end and he had no objections to that. 

A small surprised gasp escaped her when his hand slipped under her jacket and the shirt underneath. He knew the metal was cold but he wanted to feel more of her, regardless of the very limited receptors on the cyberware. And she was with him. Both her hands ended up tucking his shirt loose until she could move her non-implant one under it. Her skin felt warm as it ran over his, her touches sent pleasant shivers down his spine and he wished he could give her the same feeling. One day he would, a promise he gave her in silence. Once Johnny was fully gone he’d make every inch of her body feel how much she meant to him. “Too late to add that I love you too?” The ease with which the words came out surprised him. Love was either easy or impossible to find in Night City depending on your expectations and he’d never come across any woman that triggered the urge to confess to before. He was sure Vi had already known but the confirmation gained him another long kiss. When she eventually let go of him, her smile took him off guard, he could swear the sadness was gone for a moment and then she hugged him tighter than during nightmare filled nights.

“You know, Misty once told me something about the meaning of stars”, she whispered against his shoulder after a long while. “There’s a tarot card called ‘The Star’, it can stand for multiple things but mostly it symbolizes hope. When Jackie died, she told me she’d often look up at night and the stars would provide her with new hope for her path.” Will looked up, the shimmering lights were still plenty above them. Telling what their formations were was an art only people like Misty still mastered. “Do you believe in that?” He felt her snuggling deeper into his neck. “I don’t know.” She kissed the exposed skin in front of her, lips tracing their way up until he tilted his head and kissed her again. “But I want to.”


End file.
